If I Can't Love Her
by Night Music
Summary: Jim decides to play matchmaker and give his mom the best Valentine's Day gift of all…the gift of love. SilverSarah
1. Part One

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#**If I Can't Love Her**

By: Night Music

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Author's Note: Heh, well, I was listening to my Broadway Beauty & The Beast soundtrack with my little sister and the song "If I Can't Love Her" got stuck in my head so it was my main inspiration for this story. I decided that I wanted to write my own TP Valentine's Day so this is my gift to all of you… I hope you have a wonderful and very Happy V-Day!

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Summary: Jim decides to play matchmaker and give his mom an extra-special gift for Valentine's Day this year…the gift of love. (Silver/Sarah)

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Disclaimer: Catherine is the only character that belongs to me…the rest of them are pure Stevenson (as technically, he did have claims to them before Disney did). 

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No passion could reach me  
No lesson could teach me  
How I could have loved her and made her love me too   
If I can't love her, then who?

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Sarah shook her head wearily as her son took her by the hands and forced her to stand from where she sat at her desk looking over some legal documents by the dim light of a candle. "Jim, really, it's been a long day and I've got to make sure these bills are paid off if we're going to keep things running here. I don't have time to fool around right now."

"Mom, you work far too hard for your own good. Now, will you just trust me for once?" Her son stopped, smiling down at his mother before placing a kiss to her forehead. He'd gotten taller over the years and now stood several inches above her, dark blue eyes that mirrored her own looking down upon her with a beautiful sparkle of excitement within them. Gently taking her small hands in his own, he gave them a reassuring squeeze before she could speak in answer to his question. "Now, you go on upstairs and get dressed because I have a special surprise for you. No, I don't want to hear it! No protests. You're going out tonight whether you like it or not." He grinned, that mischievous look that she knew all too well crossing his face. "I'll make sure the kitchen is cleaned and everything is closed up for the night. You don't worry about a thing. I got it taken care of, okay? Just go on upstairs and get dressed for a night out."

The young woman sighed, her shoulders slumping just a bit in defeat though she couldn't stop a small, almost curious smile. Jim had been babbling all day about this big "surprise" that he had prepared for her and she wondered what her son could have possibly cooked up in that clever mind of his. Besides, she knew he was just as stubborn as his father was when it came to things like this and so she rolled her eyes again in surrender, unable to stop the soft laugh that escape her lips. "Still using those 'puppy-dog' eyes on me, even after all these years? Really, Jim, you shouldn't prey upon a woman's weakness in such a way." She smirked and squeezed his hands in return. "Very well. I'll go get dressed but do me a favor and make sure that Catherine restocks the purp barrel before she goes, will you? I need to make sure I have plenty of fresh purps to serve for breakfast tomorrow."

The young man grinned triumphantly with a quick nod of his head. "Don't worry, I'm on it. Now go." 

Sarah smiled and gave another pleasant roll of her eyes before quickly turning to walk up the stairs that led to the bedrooms. Jim watched her until she slipped down the darkened hallway, the sound of her work skirts rustling quietly against her legs. Once he was sure she was in her bedroom, he turned about with a laugh and rubbed his hands together. 

Everything was going exactly as he had planned.

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There was a soft knock on the door of one of the guest rooms, and Jim heard a long pause from inside before the door was swung open for him. He entered into the room quickly so that no one saw him, and closed the door firmly behind him before turning about to see the tall silhouette of his friend standing in the candlelight, running his hands somewhat nervously down the front of his jacket in an attempt to smooth it out.

"Wow, you really clean up good, don't you, Silver?" he remarked with a laugh and a shake of his head, leaning casually back against the door as he took in the sight before him.

The old cyborg gave him a slight glare before turning back towards the large mirror that stood off to one side, and again he ran his large hands awkwardly over the jacket. He was dressed in the finest suit possible - a dark blue jacket with gold embroidery that hugged his broad shoulders, a white vest and shirt underneath with black buttons, and long black pants that hid the machinery of his cyborg leg. The only thing that remained of his old pirate's clothing was the tri-cornered hat and golden earring that he never parted with.

"I'm not so sure about this, Jimbo," the pirate admitted softly, tugging at the cuffs of the jacket to straighten them out. "I've never really done anythin' like this before."

Jim smiled, the older man's nervousness making him appear like a schoolboy right before his first date. "Hey, you love my mom, right?"

Silver turned to face him, certainty evident in his gaze and stance. "More than anythin', lad."

"So then what's not to be sure about? You've been waiting for the opportunity to tell her, right? What better a time to tell her than on Valentine's Day?"

The cyborg sighed and shook his head, turning to slump down to sit on the bed as he removed his hat. "That be the thing, lad. I don't want ye're mother to feel like I'm only tellin' her such a thing because it's some special day. I want her to know I really, truly mean it." His eyes refused to meet Jim's as he focused down on the hat that he ran through his hands. "It just seems like such a superficial holiday, Jimbo. It always has to me. If ye really love someone…it shouldn't take a special day to get ye to say it. I just don't want her to think I'm not entirely sincere."

Jim couldn't help but smile just a bit, finding such honest and candid words coming from the usually strong and certain man quite endearing. When he'd first found out that Silver was in love with his mother, he'd been uncertain about it. He knew Silver was in love with the freedom that he found out in space, and he didn't want to see his mother hurt again by a man who would not be able to handle the commitment of a relationship. But as time went on it became more and more evident to him that this love Silver had for the amazing woman was indeed real. Since he had come to the Benbow Inn and met her, he'd not yet returned to the sky except on a few pleasure rides that always brought him back at the end of the day. His passion for the untamed skies had now shifted to a true, gentle passion for a woman that he respected and loved with every fiber in his body and the alluring call of that freedom out in space had stopped as he finally found a place where he felt as though he belonged.

Jim stood to his full height from where he had been propped against the door and stepped over to kneel down in front of his friend so that he could look him right in the eyes. "Silver…just trust me on this one, alright? My mother knows you and I know that she loves you. If you're truly sincere when you tell her of your feelings, she'll know it. Whether it be on Valentines Day, Christmas Eve, New Years, Halloween… Trust me. She'll know."

The very slight smile that formed on the cyborg's features was one of relief and gratitude as he nodded his head to the boy's words, his tense shoulders seeming to relax just a bit as he breathed in deeply to try and still his nerves. 

Jim gave a smile in return and stood back up to his feet. "Well, you'd better finish getting ready then. I'm going to go and help Catherine in the kitchen before Mom comes down. I'll see you in just a little while…and don't worry. Tonight is going to be perfect."

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"Oh, Catherine, Mom wanted me to make sure that you restocked the purp barrel before you called it a night."

The young maid laughed as she pulled her shawl about her shoulders. "Tell her not to worry. It's restocked and ready to go for the morning. The kitchens cleaned and I swept out the back room so everything is locked up back there."

"Thanks. I'll just finish up in here and then everything will be finished for the night. You go on and head out."

"Thanks, Jim. Oh, and a happy Valentine's Day to you."

"Happy Valentine's Day to you as well. Take care."

The young girl swept out of the room quietly, pulling the door closed behind her. Jim gave a slight smile as he shook his head, returning to the task of cleaning off the tables and setting the chairs back in order. He was glad his mom had finally consented to hiring a bit of help about the place. At first she had been wary of the idea, having always run the inn all by herself, but Jim knew she really appreciated Catherine's help. The girl was a hard worker and a fast learner, always anticipating Sarah's next request and seeing to it that each of her chores were carried out to perfection. Besides Sarah, she was always the last to leave at night and the first to come in the next morning. Jim knew that secretly she had developed the same sort of love for the old inn that his mother had, and he often wondered if Sarah would one day hand down ownership to her.

The sound of soft footsteps coming down the stairs was what alerted Jim to his mother's presence as he looked up from the table he was cleaning, a large grin spreading across his lips at the sight of her. She was so beautiful. Hair pulled back in a tumbling of dark curls that rested lightly over one slender shoulder left a bit bare by the wide neckline of her dress. The dark green gown she wore had actually been a gift from Silver, as had the small emerald that adorned the chain about her neck, and she wore them both with the elegance and grace of a woman of high class. Her lips had been colored a darker shade and a small amount of powder had been added to her face, though all of the beauty she held was clearly natural.

"Mom," Jim murmured lovingly as she came down to the last step. "You look great."

Sarah blushed a bit at the compliment, one hand rising to fiddle with the emerald necklace out of a nervous habit as she glanced downward towards the dress that covered her lithe frame. It was very rare that she got to get dressed up, though she did so love doing it. Like any woman, she enjoyed getting out of her work clothes and making herself pretty for a special evening. She even took time to have that guilty little pleasure of spinning about in front of her mirror, admiring how the skirt fluttered around her legs and striking a few different poses before giggling like a young girl with excitement. The last time she had actually had the opportunity to get all dressed up like this had been during the party to celebrate the Benbow's reopening which was nearly two years ago. She remembered it well, for it had been that night that Silver had come to seek out sanctuary in the old inn from the authorities that still sought him out.

"Why aren't you already dressed, Jim?" Sarah asked, looking back up and giving a slight tilt of her head, soft curls framing her face at this motion. "You did say we were going out tonight, didn't you?"

There was that mischievous, wicked little grin again as the young man shook his head, holding up his hand to stop her words. "Ah, I didn't say **we **were going out…I said that **you** were going out. Remember?"

The woman blinked her dark blue eyes quizzically, but was unable to ask any questions as her son took her by the hands and excitedly led her towards the door of the inn.


	2. Part Two

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If I Can't Love Her

By: Night Music

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(Part Two)

"Jim, really, what is this all about?"

The young man grinned, attempting to look as innocent as possible as he led his mother up onto the deck of Silver's ship where it was settled at the dock right outside the Benbow Inn. "Mom, what did I tell you? You've just got to trust me. No more questions now. You wait right here and let me go see if everything is ready."

Sarah sighed, crossing her arms as her son grinned at her, a look she knew all too well, and then watched as he ran off to the stairs that led down below deck. Whatever could this big surprise be that had him so excited? She'd not seen him with this boyish enthusiasm in quite some time and it almost made her nervous with curiosity. Still, she had to admit that seeing him this way after so many years of anger and depression brought warmth to her heart. 

There was a cool, steady breeze blowing about, causing the soft material of Sarah's skirt to dance about her legs as she moved over to stand at the railing and look out on the vast expansion of stars. It was a beautiful night. Clear and calm without a single cloud to hindrance the sight of those blazing gems that looked as though they had been tossed carelessly out across a large piece of black velvet. It was easy for her to see how one could become obsessed with such a vast, unknown expansion. There were quite a few times when she would look out on that sky and almost feel as though she understood why Leland had left her. What could she ever offer him in a small inn that could even begin to compare to the freedom and adventure he found out in space? She would reflect on this question and almost found herself able to forgive him completely for leaving her, thinking that she might almost do the same thing if she had such an opportunity. Just to leave all her worries and troubles behind and simply sail out in the vast space with no real direction in mind.

Closing her eyes, Sarah turned her face into the cool wind and breathed deeply of the clean air. She knew Leland was in love with his trade and that she could never replace that in hopes of keeping him anchored at home…but then what of Silver? Just the very thought of him made her heart skip a beat and a small, shy smile spread over her lips. He was everything that she could look for in a man. Strong and fierce when he needed to be, but able to turn about and be gentle and loving as well. He'd never raised his voice to her, even when they had entered into an argument. The very thought of striking her the way her husband had when angered had never even crossed his mind and he was actually hurt when he reached out to touch her right after such an argument and she pulled away in fear. His stories intrigued and entranced her and she could listen to him relate his adventures to her for hours, the lovely brogue of his voice sending pleasant chills down her spine. He always seemed to know when she was upset or having a bad day and it was on those days she would find small gifts hidden about the inn for her to find. He never wrote his name on the gifts or claimed having been the one to place them there, but she knew it was he. There were even times when she would approach him about the gifts, saying that she could not accept them but he would deny having anything to do with it, all the while smiling that wickedly cunning smile as he forced her to keep the items.

Yet he was a sailor and as such she knew he loved space just as much as Leland had. Would he leave her as well one day? The very thought of it pricked her heart and made it nearly unbearable. Oh, she couldn't ask him to stay. He had no ties to her and she knew he was only at the inn because he was hiding from the authorities for a time. So when he felt it safe to come out of hiding, off he would surely go again in hopes of new adventure. 

Sarah sighed, opening her eyes sadly to glance back upward to the sky. _Oh, cruel mistress that steals men from the arms of their lovers. How could a woman possibly ever hope to compete with you? _She rubbed her hands along her bare arms, suddenly feeling a chill from the wind as she shook her head. _Ah, well. That is the way it should be, I suppose. There are some men who simply do not belong tied down to one place…that deserve to be free. Who am I to argue such a right?_

"Mom?"

Sarah looked up quickly at the sound of the voice that broke into her thoughts and turned to see her son standing at the top of the steps that led down into Silver's ship. He grinned that familiar grin once more that lit up his eyes and motioned a hand towards the opening in a very dramatic gesture. 

"Your surprise awaits."

For a brief moment Sarah did not move, a bit uncertain of seeing what her son had waiting for her down below. Why had he requested that she dress for a 'night out' and why were they aboard Silver's ship without him knowing? He was very overprotective of his vessel and Jim knew that. But any curiosity Jim had in him came from his mother and finally she pursed her lips in determination, turning towards him to walk slowly to the stairs, one hand fiddling nervously with her necklace. Jim watched her move with the grace and posture of a noblewoman and couldn't help but smile, knowing that his mother could rival some of the most beautiful women of Montressor. She glanced up at him as she approached and he arched an eyebrow towards her, motioning once more for her to go down below. Sarah stopped at the top of the steps, gathering her skirts carefully into her grasp so that she wouldn't trip and then looked at Jim once more with an intrigued smile before carefully beginning her descent below to see what awaited her.

Upon arriving at the bottom of the stairs, Sarah glanced back up and realized that Jim did not follow. Her eyes shifted back to the area around her, a bit dark and eerie in that way that only ships can be as they softly creak and groan as the wind runs across them. She'd been aboard Silver's ship before, but never in the lower parts of it. Her heart began to beat a little faster, uncertain of where to turn or which way to go in the dark area as she reached out a hand to touch the railing of the stairs, steadying herself as her eyes began to focus.

Then she heard it. The sound of a very familiar, cheerful whistling.

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Silver. So he's in on this big surprise too, is he?

Suddenly feeling her whole body relaxing with relief, she turned her head towards the direction in which the whistling came from and saw a hallway lit by a few candles. She smiled to herself, carefully stepping around a few barrels that blocked her path to move towards the light and the sound of his merry tune. She recognized it as one of the old sea chanties he had sung for her one night while they had sat outside on the porch together and she couldn't help but begin to quietly hum along with it as well. The uncertainty and nervousness completely left her mind as she was drawn like a small, trusting child to the familiar sound of that song and the man from which she knew it came.

Sarah stepped into the gentle glow of the candlelit hallway, and followed it down to the end where it cut a sharp corner. Pursing her lips together with an excited thrill, she turned the corner of the hallway and stepped right into a large room that made her stop short and gasp in surprise.

All around her were candles. Large, pillar-like candles that rose up from sconces. Small, tea candles that sat about on tables decorated with vases of an assortment of her favorite flowers. Different colored glass had been strung and hung in just the right way so that the room was filled with a glimmering array of colors like those of the Northern Lights as they spun and danced about on their strings. In the midst of all the elaborate decorations, there sat a table upon which was set the finest feast of food she had ever seen and just off to the side stood the silhouette outline of the old cyborg who had stopped what he was doing when he heard her gasp and turned to see her reaction.

For a moment she was completely speechless, her hands pressed to her open mouth in shock before she gave a soft laugh of surprise and shook in head in awe, eyes still taking in the sight. "Silver…what…what **is** all this?"

The pirate couldn't help but give a smile at her reaction and he stepped out of the shadows and into the gentle candlelight as he waved a large hand towards the room. "Why, tis ye're big surprise, lass."

Sarah shook her head again in disbelief, stepping a bit further into the room and turning about slowly so that she was able to take it all in carefully. "It's amazing." Her eyes fell upon one of the many vases of flowers and she gasped again, moving towards it to run her finger gently over one of the sapphire blue petals. "Monsitas? Those are my favorite flowers but…how ever did you get them? They don't bloom anywhere this time of year!" 

"Aye, well, that would be tellin' my secret now wouldn't it, lass? Let's just say I worked a little bit of magic."

"Magic indeed," the woman murmured softly, leaning in to breathe in the fragrance of the flowers. "They're wonderful, Silver."

The cyborg crossed his arms over his chest and watched her admire the scene with a gentle smile as she reached up and tapped one of the hanging glass pieces, causing it to spin and reflect a thousand colors on the wall. Her eyes were wide with a kind of child-like wonder as she moved about the room slowly, entranced by this fairy-tale style chamber that he had designed with some help from Jim. 

"Ye look beautiful tonight, Sarah," he finally murmured softly as she came full-circle about the room to stand a few feet away from him. The green gown that he had given to her several weeks back looked perfect on her – like it had been tailored exactly to fit her form. She had complained then of how much it must have cost him and insisted she would never be able to wear it out anywhere, but he simply shook his head and said he had nothing to do with it, refusing to take it back even though they both knew it had come from him. He had known then that it would be very pretty on her, but he had not expected his heart to practically ache with his love for her the moment she entered the room wearing that dress. She was always a very beautiful woman, but tonight, in the soft glow of the candles, she was simply stunning.

Again Sarah gave a slight blush at such a compliment, glancing down humbly before looking back up at him with a small, almost shy smile. "You look quite nice tonight as well." Oh, yes, how nice he looked. The captain-like uniform made him appear like he truly belonged out sailing the skies in firm command of a royal fleet. She almost giggled, thinking of how the whole scene sounded far too much like one of Catherine's romance novels she was always reading. An intriguing, cunning captain who had taken on a lady passenger and requested her presence at dinner in his private, candle lit chamber. 

"Well then," Silver spoke again, prying her from her thoughts as he motioned a hand towards her. "Come, m'lady, and have a seat. Tis about time ye allowed someone else to serve ye rather than constantly waiting on other people."

The young woman smiled and took his offered hand, allowing him to escort her to the other side of the table where he pulled out her chair, ever the picture of a perfect gentleman, and allowed her to be seated. He then began the task of pouring her a glass of wine from a bottle that had been set off to the side in a bucket of ice to chill and serving her from the feast he had created of all her favorite foods made especially to her liking.

Sarah laughed a bit as he showed off a bit with his cyborg hand, slicing several pieces of meat in no time at all and catching a few purps easily behind his back before squeezing them out over a mangord to add a bit of flavoring to it. Had she been in such a setting with any other man, she knew she would have felt nervous and uneasy…but this was Silver and as such she felt completely calm and natural, talking with him as easily as they would have talked in the kitchen over the dirty dishes.

"This is a wonderful surprise, Silver," she murmured quietly as he went to take his seat opposite of hers. "Thank you."

The pirate gave her a loving smile that made her heart flutter as he carefully poured himself a glass of wine. "Aye, lass, but it is I that should be thankin' you for allowin' me the pleasure of ye're company." He chuckled a bit, a slight glimmer shining in his eye. "Besides, this isn't all of ye're surprise. There's still one last thing I have for ye before this evening is out."

Sarah sat forward in her seat a bit, intrigued. "Oh? And what might that be?"

The man gave a shrug of his broad shoulders as he settled back in his chair with a casual smile. "For that ye shall simply have to wait and see, lass. Patience, after all, is a virtue." He gave another soft laugh at the teasing pout she offered him in response to that and he lifted his wine glass towards her with a tip of his head. "To ye, love."

Sarah could not help but smile at his gentle use of the word 'love' and she lifted her glass in return to his own. "No…to **us**."


	3. Part Three

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If I Can't Love Her

By: Night Music

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(Part Three)

Sarah laughed as Silver slowly guided her up the steps that led out onto the deck, her eyes closed as he had instructed her to do. "You realize, of course, that if I manage to fall and break my leg, you're the one that will be forced to run the inn while I'm healing and I promise I shall not make it easy on you."

She heard his deep laughter as she carefully made her way up the stairs one step at a time. "Ye know I'll not be lettin' ye fall, lass. All ye have to do is trust me." He held onto one of her hands with the firm grip of his human flesh as she carefully ran her hand along the railing with the other one to keep herself steady.

Trust… The word was something that seemed to be playing a rather large role in everyone's vocabulary today. Jim had insisted several times that she not worry over her surprise and that she simply allow herself to trust him, and now Silver was guiding her along like a child urging her to put all of her trust in the fact that she knew he would never let her fall. Silently it made her heart ache every time she heard that word for it was something she thought she had lost altogether when Leland left her. She had put so much faith and trust in him that when he broke it, she was left completely shattered and defenseless. Her only means of hiding this pain and sorrow was to swear to herself that she would never put such a blind faith in another being again.

Yet ironically enough, here she was now with a very literal blind faith in Silver as he led her up the stairs of his ship. The feeling of his large, strong hand wrapped around her smaller one, and the soothing sound of his voice compelled her to follow him as though in a trance drew her onward. Her heart knew no fear or doubt and with each step he took back, she matched it with one step forward, never allowing the gap between them to widen. 

"Easy now," he murmured softly as he gave her hand a quick squeeze. "Last step right here. There… Now, ye're out on the deck."

Sarah couldn't help but give a slight smile as she felt a strong wind blowing through her hair, causing her dress to again furl about her legs. "Can I open my eyes now?"

"No, no, not quite yet. Just a bit further now."

"That low noise…a humming…what is that?"

"Aye, well, that would be the auto-pilot ye're son installed for me. Interesting device, I must say. Simply set the coordinates ye need and it guides ye right to them." Silver gave a soft laugh. "Of course it wouldn't work very well for long distances, but an hour or two just to give the crew some downtime is always pleasant."

He began to guide her by the one hand he already held, but stopped short when she reached out her other hand instinctively for him to take. He hesitated, glancing down at his cyborg hand with uncertainty and then back to her hand that reached out to him. He'd never touched her before with that cyborg limb, and was always afraid of what her reaction to it would be. Would the reminder of what he really was be too much for her? Would she immediately think of him as less of a man and more as a machine? Would she recoil from the feel of the cold, hard metal against her warm, living flesh? People had looked upon Silver and their eyes had grown wide with fear at the sight of him. His cyborg limb had been used to kill on so many different occasions. How could he even think of touching such innocence with the blood of so many lives on him? Why, even Jim had shied away from the touch of his cyborg hand when they first met. If Sarah were to do that, he knew his heart would break inside of him.

"Silver?"

The pirate looked up quickly and saw the look of slight confusion at the pause on the woman's face, her hand still reaching out for him almost as though she were afraid he had left her side even as she still clung to his other hand. She was so beautiful…so trusting…never once opening her eyes. It was almost as though she would let him guide her all the way to the ends of the galaxy if he asked it of her.

With a deep breath, Silver stretched out his hand and carefully took hold of her own with that machine-like attachment. "It's alright, Sarah. I'm right here. I've not left ye." He could see the slight tension in her body relax as she took hold of his hand…and did not pull away. She allowed him to wrap his fingers carefully about her hand, and he saw not even the slightest flinch upon her face at the feeling of the cold metal on her warm skin. In fact, he could have sworn he almost saw a pleasant blush and a smile form over those lovely lips as she tightened her hand on his own, ready for him to lead her onward. 

Deep inside, his heart throbbed with love for her and the tender acceptance she showed him. An acceptance he had never known before. 

Sarah felt him begin to pull her along gently again, and in her minds eye she knew he was leading them towards the bow of the ship. She kept her eyes closed, feet moving carefully over the planks of the ship to avoid tripping up on the long material of her skirt. Her heart was still fluttering inside of her at the feel of his hands wrapped around her own. His human hand was warm and solid, engulfing her small fingers in a firm grip that promised to never let her go. His cyborg hand was just as large, with an incredible strength behind it that she could sense as he forced the machinery to wrap gently about her hand, almost as though afraid of crushing it with his sheer power. The knowledge that such a giant of a man with an obvious amount of strength could be so tender with her was one of the most beautiful things she had ever experience.

Again his soft voice broke into her thoughts as she felt him stop short. "Alright, now, I want ye to stay right here." Slowly he let go of her hands, almost as though not wanting to break the contact anymore than she did. There was a slight sound as he did something off to one side and she heard the power of the ship being shut down to leave only the sound of the cool wind blowing about them.

She smiled a bit, clasping her hands together tightly with that nervous excitement over what he had planned. "Can I open them now?" she asked again, like a child standing over her Christmas presents, waiting for the moment when she could tear into them.

She heard him give that soft laugh of his once again as she felt him come to stand behind her, hands moving to her shoulders as he leaned down to whisper softly into her ear. "Not yet… Just a few more minutes, love. Just a few more minutes." Gently he ran his hands lightly down her arms.

For a moment Sarah stood perfectly still, straining her senses to find any kind of hint as to what this grand surprise was, but slowly she found herself becoming very aware of the cyborg's closeness. His hands ran along her arms in a soothing motion, his strong chest pressed lightly against her back, and his lips were just a mere few centimeters above her ear, so close that it sent a pleasant chill down her spine as she felt his warm breath against her neck. She could actually feel his heart beating and the warmth of his nearness flooded through her with a thrill that she had not experienced in many years. She wondered what it must feel like to be held by him. Not as simply one friend to another, but as lovers. Those two strong arms wrapped tightly and protectively about her small body…his long fingers and beautiful hands caressing and rubbing her back in gentle motions…that soft voice of his, deep and enriched with his brogue, murmuring sweet words of love into her ear…

"Alright," Silver whispered suddenly, making her start a bit as she was torn from her pleasant thoughts. His hands came up to rest once more on her shoulders again and he gave them a firm squeeze as he murmured, "Alright, open them."

The moment Sarah's eyes fluttered open, a bright streak of light raced across the sky and she gasped, pulling back just a bit out of reaction. She heard Silver give a soft laugh at her startled reaction as his hands remained firmly on her shoulders, holding her in place at the bow of the ship. Just as quickly as the first streak had come, another one shot across the sky…and then another…and another…

Sarah's eyes widened with wonder at the sight. "A meteor shower."

She had heard of such things, but unfortunately had never been able to witness one as Montressor was the worst place to be able to see such sights. The last time they had been able to see a meteor shower from Montressor was when she was eight years old, and even then her parents had not let her stay up late enough to watch it.

All of a sudden the whole sky became alight with those blazing balls of fire as they shot across the sky towards unknown origin, streaking that rich darkness with their light. Sarah felt Silver's hands slide away from her shoulders as she stepped towards the railing of his ship, eyes wide with amazement as the meteors flamed like fireworks being set off for a grand celebration. She laughed as one came startlingly close, causing her to jump just a bit as Silver laughed, coming to join her at the railing as well.

"This is amazing, Silver," she murmured softly, eyes locked on the dark sky as meteors began to fall four and five at a time with barely any intervals. "I've never seen anything like it." 

"Aye, well, ye can thank Jim for this bit of the surprise. He was the one that told me this display would be out tonight." He grinned that roguish, almost arrogant smile as he tipped his hat a bit proudly. "'Course I knew where it would best be seen. There's hardly a spot o' this galaxy I don't know like the back of my hand. I knew this would be the perfect place to watch such a display."

The young woman sighed deeply, bracing her hands against the railing as she leaned her face into the cool wind. "I can see why you love space so much. It's so beautiful out here. You'd never be able to see things like this back on Montressor."

Silver breathed in deeply of the clear air and nodded his agreement, watching the enthralling sight with a slight, knowing smile. "Aye. There's many a man that has heard the call of space and has gladly answered. Those who haven't…well, they've never known the freedom space can offer. There's no ties to anything, Sarah. No rules to guide you. Ye can go wherever you want to. See things that most men have only seen in their dreams. It's all out there. Oceans of stars…exotic locations…meteor showers that would make this one look like a candle next to the sun. Aye, I've never regretted hearin' that sirens song. Tis nearly all that has kept me goin' for quite some time now." He stopped, again breathing in deeply of the air, smiling at the thought of some day taking her to see all the sights he had described and more.

Sarah glanced away from the sky for a moment, a brief flickering of sadness showing in her eyes as she looked over towards the man at her side. He sat slouched a bit, resting his strong arms against the railing as he stared out into the sky with a look of passionate longing. She pursed her lips together, a sharp prick of jealousy forming in her heart as she turned to look back up towards the meteor shower once again, though this time with the kind of sad shame that a woman might feel when looking upon the mistress that has stolen her husband for her.

"It must be a terrible thing for you, Silver," she murmured at last, trying to keep her voice as light as possible though knowing that she failed miserably. "To be torn from that which you love so much, I mean. To be forced to remain in hiding when you could be out here where you…belong." A hint of bitterness crept into her last word and she attempted to cover over it by running her hands along her bare arms as though to warm them. For a moment she craved the warmth of his touch running tenderly along her again, but she quickly forced the thought from her mind as her heart gave another painful throb inside of her. 

The pirate had turned to look at the woman carefully, noticing how suddenly she seemed to withdraw from him. She was a very private woman by nature and he knew this, but tonight he had seen her open up to him for the first time. He saw the romantic and feminine side of her. He saw the woman that he knew lay under all those layers she had placed over herself to keep from getting hurt again. Yet suddenly, just as quickly as it seemed to have come, it was gone in a flash as she again drew in on herself.

__

No, Sarah, don't do this to me. Please don't shut me out. Not tonight. Please, not tonight.

He rose to his full, intimidating height again, and turned to face the woman with a slight frown of concern. She seemed to feel his calculating stare and turned her face away from him so that he would not be able to read the pained expression on her face. He knew the stance she took all too well. Arms crossed firmly over her chest, whole body suddenly having gone rigid. It was the same stance she always took when she was trying to hide something from him. Something that he knew caused her pain and that tore her up inside, though she would never allow him to see what it was.

"Sarah," he spoke softly, though his voice now held a strength and commanding firmness to it. "Sarah, what's wrong?"

She shook her head in denial of the accusation, refusing to turn and look at him as she lowered her head downwards to study the planks beneath her feet. 

The cyborg's concerned frown grew a bit more as he reached out with his human hand and caught hold of her chin, forcing her head upward so that it met his eyes…and he was shocked by what he saw. Tears…and pain. Tears that shimmered in the light of the continuing meteor shower and a pain that she couldn't hide no matter how hard she tried.

"When will you leave, Silver?" she whispered softly before he could say anything, now allowing the bitterness to show in her voice.

His features softened as he shook his head in confusion, honestly not knowing of what she spoke. "Leave? Sarah, I have no intentions of--."

"When will you leave?" she asked again, this time blinking her eyes a bit as a teardrop ran down her cheek to fall against his hand where he still held to her chin. "Space calls to you. I know it does. I see it every time when you look out at the sky. I hear it in the way that you tell your stories of the adventures you've had and the things you've seen." Her eyes squeezed shut tightly in pain and she pulled her chin from out of his grasp, taking a single step back away from him. "I know because I saw it in my husband right before he left me."

"Sarah," Silver spoke softly, taking a single step forward though stopping when she retreated from him yet again. His eyes narrowed a bit, remembering the time when he had reached out his hand towards her and she had drawn away for fear of being struck. Oh, how his very soul still boiled with anger at Leland Hawkins for ever so much as laying a finger upon her. "Sarah, what's the matter, love?"

She clapped her hands firmly to her ears like a stubborn child, shaking her head as he saw teardrops begin to fall down her face. "Don't…don't call me that. Oh, why do you have to make this harder than it already is?"

Again he tried to step towards her, holding out his hand reassuringly. "Sarah, please, just tell me--."

"No," she whispered in a pained voice, holding out her hand to stop his approach as tears filled her eyes. She couldn't handle the feeling of his gentle touch, knowing that it might possibly be the last time she ever felt it. She couldn't look upon him and see that loving gaze and know that one day it would be gone. Her heart ached with pain as she sobbed quietly, tears falling down her cheeks. "No…Silver, you don't understand." Her whole body trembled as she shook her head, biting down hard on her bottom lip to try and keep her sobs under control. "Silver…oh, by the Fates…I love you! I love you! Don't you understand that? I love you and the thought of you leaving me alone is…it kills me! I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else in my entire life and the thought of you returning to space…" Her words faded away into a quiet sob and she lowered her head down into her hands, her entire body shaking at the magnitude of her confession.

Silver regarded her with wide eyes. She loved him? She…loved…_him_? His mind raced, unable to comprehend everything that she had said all at one time. She loved him and was afraid of his leaving her to once more return out to space… She loved him!

"I'm sorry," she whispered pitifully, wrapping her arms tightly about her again as she brought her tears under control. She risked a short glance up at him and saw a kind of shock written across his face and she shook her head, looking away again as she continued on quietly. "I'm sorry…I didn't want to tell you like this but... Oh, I'm sorry. I understand your passion for your freedom and all that space has to offer. This is where you belong…out here where you're free. Not trapped in a small inn." She sighed quietly, quickly wiping away the tears that continued to fall down her cheeks as she lowered her gaze once more to the deck at her feet. 

Silver shook his head, dumbfounded and not entirely certain what to say. He spread his large hands as he grasped for words that simply wouldn't come to him. "Sarah, I didn't know… I mean, I never thought that…"

Sarah gave a very small, pained smile, knowing that he only stumbled over his words in such a way when he was flustered or nervous. It was one of his many qualities she couldn't help but find endearing. She bowed her head and her voice was soft and sincere as she spoke. "I love you, John Silver. You're the one that I go to bed thinking about at night. It's your face I see in my most pleasant of dreams. In the morning it's you that I wake up for and sometimes I simply can't wait to share my day with you. At times you're the only thing that keeps me going. I love you so much that sometimes it hurts to even think about. At one time I thought such love was impossible…but now I know better. From the very moment that I met you I think I was in love with you…but…well, I know that you love space even more…and I love you too much to see you trapped. I want you to be where you're happy." She drew in a soft breath and sighed, finally turning her eyes upward to meet his own and seeing the surprise still written across his face. Her lips pursed tightly together as another tear trailed its way down her cheek and she opened her mouth as though to say more, but then with a slight shake of her head and a sniff she turned on her heel to walk off…but the sound of his soft voice stopped her.

"Sarah Hawkins… I love ye. Ye're the one that I go to bed thinking about at night. It's yer face I see in my most pleasant of dreams. In the mornin' it's ye that I wake up for and sometimes I simply can't wait to share my day with ye."

The young woman drew in a short, trembling breath as she heard him steadily approaching behind her.

"Yer beauty is unmatched by any other. Why, yer very presence intoxicates me like the strongest rum and sometimes when I'm with ye I can barely even think, so overcome am I by everything that ye are. Yer an amazing woman, Sarah Hawkins. Charmin', smart, gentle. Ye've overcome obstacles that would have brought most women down and have risen only the stronger for them."

She felt her breath catch in her throat as she felt two strong, masculine arms wrap slowly about her small waist, pulling her firmly against a warm chest as again his lips moved to rest right at her ear.

"Never before have I ever loved a woman the way I love ye, Sarah. I know that from the very moment that I met ye I was in love. The feeling of holding ye only causes me more pain as I am only left wanting more. I want to know ye, love. Everything about ye. I want to be the one that's there to dry away yer tears when yer sad. I want to share in the times when yer happy. I want to be the one to watch over ye and soothe away those nightmares that come to haunt." Gently he took her by the shoulders and turned her around so he could look down into her upturned face. The sight of her large, tearful eyes looking up into his own caused his heart to skip a beat. 

He reached down slowly, almost as though afraid she might pull away, and took her hand in his cyborg palm, bringing it up so that he clasped it over his throbbing heart. "Can ye feel my heart beatin', Sarah? My pulse races whenever I'm near ye. Can ye feel what ye do to me?" He brought their hands away for a moment and looked at them, entwined within one another. "Look, Sarah…ye're the first woman to accept me. Ye don't look upon me with fear and loathing. Ye look past this old cyborg machinery and see the man that exists within." With his human hand he reached up and brushed away her falling tears with the pad of his thumb, looking down tenderly upon her. "No more tears now, love. This is what I have been wantin' to tell ye all night. I love ye, Sarah Hawkins."

Sarah sniffed quietly, trying to hold back a terrible rush of tears at his passionate confession as she shook her head. "Silver, please don't do this," she whispered softly in a genuine plea as she held tighter to his metal hand. "Please don't make this so hard for me. I can't ask you to stay with me. I want you to be where you belong. I want you to be happy."

Silver smiled gently and reached his human hand upward to frame the side of her face in his massive palm, turning her head just a bit to look up to him as he smiled with deep love in his eyes. "Sarah…don't ye see, lass? This is where I belong. Here…with ye. Leave ye? Love, why would I ever do such a foolish thing? To separate a man from his heart is to ultimately kill him. My love for space? My darling Sarah…tis but a passin' obsession next to my love for ye."

She trembled a bit under the weight of his words, her eyes widening at the deep gaze which he locked upon her. A single tear trailed down her face as she raised her free hand to lay over his own where it rested against her face. 

"You'll never leave?"

"I would rather die than to be parted from yer side for a single day, love."

"But, space is your--."

"I'll never leave behind space. Don't ye see, Sarah? There are so many things I want to show ye…so many places I want ye to see. I want ye to be sailing right there alongside of me. I want ye to be able to experience space's beauty with me."

Sarah couldn't help but give a small smile at that, his words sounding like an excited young boy that wanted to show off a new model rocket. "But, what about the inn? Someone has to run it."

"Ye know ye've been trainin' that Catherine girl to eventually take over, lass. Tis time ye had a break and allowed yerself to be free." He dipped his head towards her, again giving that roguish smile that always made her heart flutter. "Besides…ye can't expect us to have our honeymoon on Montressor, now can ye?"

Sarah's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open in shock. "H-honeymoon?"

The old cyborg's smile softened as he looked gently down upon her. "Aye…will ye have me, lass?"

For a moment there was a long pause as Sarah tried to take in his words, but finally she could not help but throw her head back with a happy laugh before launching herself into the cyborg's strong arms. "Yes! Oh, yes, by the Fates, of course I will!" 

Silver could not help but join in her laughter as well as he picked her up about the waist and twirled her about on her feet, feeling his spirits soar at her response. Silently he made a mental note to thank Jim for forcing him into this whole night.

Sarah sighed soft and held tightly to her love for a moment before pulling back just enough to look up into his eyes as she whispered softly, "I love you, John Silver."

The man's heart filled with love, knowing he would never tire of hearing those words being said. He looked down into her beautiful eyes, feeling his heart pounding again inside of him with the intense emotions he felt. Bringing her hand back to rest against his chest, he slowly leaned his head forward and pressed a firm, loving kiss against her awaiting lips.

"I love you too, Sarah Hawkins." 

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Author's Note: Well, it's finally finished. Thank you so much to everyone who responded to this story. Hah, I didn't know there were so many Sarah/Silver fans out there! Rock on! I'll be adding a reviewer replies page to this tomorrow with my responses. Oh…I need to update those on "Undelivered Letters" too, don't I? I'll get to that, I promise. 

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!


	4. review replies

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Author's Note: This page is dedicated to responding to my reviews. As soon as I get a review on my story I'll respond to it and list it on here.

(listed newest to oldest)

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Jaguar-kally7 (response to chapter 3):

Hah, and pray tell what does all that mean at the very beginning? I hope it's something good! Hehe. Thank you so much for your kind review!

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Etherium's angel (response to chapter 3):

Hah, again I say that I could never hate you, angel, and I honestly am sorry for the confusion.

Hmm…I actually thought about Jim & Catherine as a couple for about a second but then I realized that so many other people have written Jim/other girl fan fics and I'm always dedicated to doing things that haven't been done a whole lot…like Silver/Sarah. So I don't think I'll be able to pull off that idea.

However, I think I shall agree to your proposition. I'll read your PotC fan fic if you'll update "Portholes".

"Do we have an accord?" - Jack Sparrow

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Ari (response to chapter 3):

Hah, you wanna know the funny thing about it? I honestly didn't plan on making them get engaged in this story. I just wanted Silver to finally confess that he loved Sarah and she return his feelings… But it just kinda snowballed and went off in a direction I didn't expect and before I knew it *BOOM* they were engaged!

"Funny ol' world, innit?" - Jack Sparrow

::dies laughing at the mental image of Jim chanting in the crows nest:: Oh, I totally agree! I can so see him doing that! And then Morph exploding or something when they finally did. Lol!

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Lady Venom2 (response to chapter 3):

Ooohh…a sequel? Hah, don't tempt me! And that would be so cute to see Jim calling Silver his father… Hmm..I would indeed like to see his reaction to the news that they're engaged… Ah! No! Now look what you've done! You've let loose a plot bunny! ::beats down the rabid plot bunny as it starts to chase her around the room::

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Raine Ishida (response to chapter 3):

::grins:: So are you a Sarah/Silver believer now? Have you stepped over to join the dark (light?) side? Hah, oddly enough I'm usually anti-romance too but lately I've just seen the beauty in their relationship and I can't help but write it. Heh, but I'm ready to get back to Jim & Silver's relationship now…I think I'm gonna try and focus on them a bit more in my next fiction…. Hah, I dunno, we'll see.

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Mare-Hiemalis (response to chapter 3):

Well, that was my whole goal in writing this fic…to make the whole Sarah/Silver pairing a bit more believable. I'm glad I succeeded in my endeavor! :-D

If you enjoy Silver/Jim stories then I would suggest "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again". (::hits herself for that shameless plug:: Bad, Night Music!)

I'm looking forward to reading some stories from you as I said before. I'm really, really hoping for some more good Silver stories. FFNet just doesn't have enough of them! It's wonderful to see another author that has a love for Silver!

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Etheriums angel (response to chapter 3):

Thank you very much for your high praise, angel. Wow…to be rated up there with Jim's Folly with you? That is *indeed* an honor. Heh, hopefully I shall continue to write stories that please…maybe even another Sarah/Silver fic or two? Hah, after all, they seem to have a rather large following!

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Ari (response to chapter 2):

::screams and grabs for the penguin:: Nooooo….No penguin fireballs on this website! We're a penguin-safe haven! I promise, no more cliffhangers…just let the penguin go!

;-)

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Mare-Hiemalis (response to chapter 2):

Hehe, was that a quick enough update for you, m'dear? ;-) I'm looking forward to your own stories that will hopefully be coming out soon….right? 

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Lady Venom (response to chapter 2):

Hah, as I said to Raine…I honestly didn't mean to make this such a cliffhanger. Cliffhangers always bother me because I'm always afraid the author will stop and not write further (as I've seen happen to so many really good stories). But I have sworn to never stop mid-story so you needn't ever worry of such! ;-)

Thanks for the encouragement.

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Raine Ishida (response to chapter 2):

Hah, I honestly didn't think the way I ended it was that big of a cliffhanger because usually I hate it when people do that to me…but apparently I was wrong judging by the reaction and death threats I got to continue. Lol. But, hey, at least I'm a quick updater, right? Unlike *some* that I know that go for *weeks* without writing! ::winks at her teasingly:: Love ya, girl.

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Jaguar-kally 7 (response to chapter 2):

Thanks for the encouragement! It's always good to have a little cheerleading section. It makes you wanna update quicker. ;-)

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Etheriums angel (response to chapter 2):

Hehe, I thought about e-mailing you and saying I wouldn't update my story until you had updated 'Porthole' but then I knew that would be way too mean. But you really should update soon! Everytime I get an author alert from you I get all excited…only to find it's for your PotC story. :-P

*You* update!

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Ari (response to chapter 1):

Yeah! I got Jim's eyes right this time! ::laughs:: And Sarahs too! 

Penguins rule!

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Angelface04 (response to chapter 1):

Hah, I'm glad to hear you like Catherine! She seems to be a character that's probably going to just be making these little cameo appearances in my stories because for some reason I just really like her too. ::laughs::

Saddly enough there aren't a whole lot of Silver/Sarah fics around here which is why I felt compelled to write this one. I can think of one off the top of my head…and another that wasn't finished. (Grr…I hate it when authors do that! They start a wonderful story and then just leave it hanging!)

Heh, thank you for the review and I shall hopefully continue to write more Silver/Sarah fics as they come to me. Heh, any suggestions…?


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